The Misadventures of Boncuk Patlıcan (and Savaş)

Hazel and I took a major step in our relationship and got a cat this weekend. Well that cat was given to us by a friend whose cat had 2 kittens, but as of Sunday October 12, 2008 (12 Ekim) our lovenest has grown to an occupancy of 3. The decision to get a cat started out as me desperately trying to convince Hazel that it would be the perfect solution to our (ahem...my) loneliness. But seeing as Hazel does not believe in domesticated animals she was not exactly thrilled about it. Luckily the day we went to go visit the kittens for the first time was a particularly fantastic Saturday, which we had spent wandering around Taksim with Gürkal and Alper and by the time we got to Alper`s apartment our spirits were high and we were in an I love living in this amazing city mood. Sometimes I forget that Im living in one of the most amazing cities in the world because my life has settled down and started to feel very normal. On weekends when we go explore or have little outings that require me to take a ferry or bus to the European side, I am reminded where I am and immediately get this rush of excitment. A couple weekends ago we (the collective Hazel and Sarah unit) met a bunch of friends on the European side and went to go see a Dali exhibit at a small gallery, sat by the Bosphorus and had tea and basically relished how fantastic our lives were/are.

Back to the point, our kitten is the tiniest little marmalade stripped dream, who loves to cuddle on people`s shoulders and sleep in the nook around your neck. After a great amount of discussion we decided to name him Boncuk Patlıcan (Bon-juk Patla-jan), Boncuk is apparently the name Turks give cats because everytime we would ask someone what we should name our cat they would immediately offer up Boncuk. Patlıcan means eggplant but Hazel and I like to call each other patlıcanım, literally meaning my eggplant but canım is a term of endearment like my dear or darling (although it actually means my soul) so we put extra emphasis on canım when we call each other patlıcanım. Boncuk Patlıcan is still getting used his new apartment and refuses to sleep in the snazzy bed I splurged and bought him but he has already brought new warmth and fun into our apartment and I am actually feeling a little bit of separaton anxiety being at work while he is home by himself probably going nuts and peeing on everything. Actually that is not true, bless his heart, Alper house trained him before he gave him to us.

This weekend I started my second job at an English language center in Kadıköy. I am teaching 2 different classes there, 3 times a week (Sat 9:30-1:20 and Tues/Thurs 7:00-9:00). My classes are supposed to have 15 students ages 16-30 but not everyone showed up for the first class and a lot of them left half way through or came late, but I guess they are paying for the course so they can come and go as they please. I think it will be a nice opportunity to meet new people and make some extra money with minimal effort. The other people who work there are all about my age or a little older and seem fun and interesting. I feel like a complete fraud though because most of my students are older than I am and definitely view me as this silly little girl who is only their teacher because she is an American living in Istanbul, which of course is completely true. The institute also uses books that teach British English, which I am slowly discovering is quite different than American English. For example, instead of saying I have a book they say I have got a book. There are other stupid grammatical differences but I am drawing a blank.

It is amazing how much we (Americans) take the English language for granted. I just happened to be born in the US and learned English as my native language but for the rest of the world English is a highly prized commodity that can open all sorts of social, political and most importantly economic doors. My friends who work at the hotel where I lived in this summer are a good example of the value of English. They are all from Eastern Turkey and migrated to Istanbul at a very young age, many without completing high school, in search of better employment opportunities. For some families it is better for their child to quit high and go find work in a big city rather than wait to finish school and miss 2-4 years in which the child could bring in an additional income. My friend Mehmet is 23 and works the late night-morning shift at the hotel almost everynight. He is learning English but is not fluent enough to work during the day. When he learns enough he will be able to work during the day and subsequently earn more money. From what I understand he finished high school but he did not attend college. He desperately wants to go to college but he cannot pass the very rigorous entrance exam that all Turkish students must take to gain college acceptance. I thought I had it bad with the SATs but really they were cake. Every student in Turkey takes this exam and their score not only determines which university they will attend but also what field they will be able to study. The highest scores study engineering and I know a number of kids who got high scores, dont want to be engineers but still study engineering because it is just what you do. In Turkey you also do not apply for different schools, you are selected by the university according to your score. Everyone takes the exam process very seriously and many kids spend an entire year just studying.

Because this university entrance process is so competitive there are a great number of kids who do not even consider college as an option and drop out of high school without regret because they know that continuing their education is not only costly but unrealisitic. My friend Savaş is the perfect example of a bright and dilligent kid who dropped out of high school for financial reasons. Savaş is a 16 year old kid from a small town in Northeastern Turkey. He speaks Kurdish (Kırmancı) and Turkish and is trying to learn English but doesnt really know much besides what would you like to drink. He is living in the basement of the hotel and working as a waiter but because the cook was fired, he is now working as the cook. We became good friends over the summer because at night when I would be sitting down in the lobby studying he would always bring me tea and help me with my Turkish. He actually helped me move into my first apartment in Kadıköy and carried my ridiculously large bag for me from the hotel, to the ferry and all the way up the hill to the apartment, it was pretty epic. I dont know if it is just because I miss my own brothers (which I obviously do so dont worry) but I feel a real closeness to him and a maternal(ish) compulsion to help and protect him. I mean I work with children all day and I am 23 now so I guess that old clock has started ticking. I really want to teach him English and Ive given him little practice sheets with basic conversations on them and vocabulary that are relative to the hotel business.

Yesterday he met me in Kadıköy for brunch and we wandered around, had some coffee, some breakfast and chatted. I cant imagine what it must be like to be a 16 year old kid living alone in a city like Istanbul. Savaş and Mehmet are actually cousins and come from the same village. They have this mini community here, mainly boys, who have migrated from their village to live and work in Istanbul. I used to be really fixated on finding a way for Savaş to finish high school but I am slowly beginning to understand that a high school degree in the US and in Turkey do not hold the same value. He has been a really great friend to me so far and I know its a little strange that one of my best friends here is 16 but it is what it is and I really hope that I can find a way to help him break out of this work cycle that seems to trap people into food services.

I am really struggling with what I perceive to be good and what others believe to be the best thing for them. I have been very fortunate to grow up in an environment where I was always completely and utterly provided for (probably even spoiled), whether that be food, shelter, clothing or education. I actually took that trite expression you can be whatever you want to be seriously and thus far I have been able to live pretty much exactly the way I want to live. But how do you tell someone who moved from an impossibly small village in Northeastern Turkey to Istanbul to work that you think they could be doing more? That there are greater opportunities out there but they have to give up what they have now, go back to school and work hard for another couple of years before they can take advantage of them. So far, Ive decided that for now the best thing I can do is just be their friend, remind myself that I am no one´s mother and help them with English.